I bought a cane. Yes, a cane. It’s a folding cane and I try to have it with me all the time. You see about 4 months I started to have severe pain in my left hip and thigh. The pain was so severe I had to take pain meds. Usually my pain threshold is high but not this time. I don’t know if it’s because of the radiation to my left femur or not. Sometimes, I get stiff and experience muscle tightness to the area and walking sometimes helps. I don’t like using the pain because I think it makes me weak. I don’t want to rely on it. I want to be the healthy me before cancer invaded my body. Cancer sucks.
You may be wondering why the title of this blog is “Teenage Angst”. Most of you know I’m not a teenager and have not been one for a very long time, but you see, my son Kiko, well, he’s 18 and had his heart broken recently. His girlfriened, “D”, whom he only started seeing for a short time broke up with him. She told him that she wasn’t ready for a new relationship and asked him if they can be friends.
A little back story before I continue. The girl, D, broke up with her boyfriend to start hanging out with my son and they eventually started dating. Kiko did a whole promposal thing and she said yes. I have the promposal on video.
Everything seemed fine. They were going to go to each other’s prom. I mean, I was confident about this girl, that I even bought him a dinner color dinner jacket for him to wear for her prom. About two weeks ago, my son started to get snippy with me. Little things would set him off. I didn’t pay attention to it because he’s a teenager and I didn’t want to pry.
I was making simple conversations with Kiko and asked him about D and if it was getting serious and he told me that D broke up with him. D told Kiko she wasn’t ready and asked to be friends and Kiko, being a boy, told her that he didn’t want to be friends with her because he really, really liked her. Kiko told me that he was being an jerk to her by not returning or answering any of her text and when he finally decided that it was better to have her in his life as a friend than not at all, she had it. Kiko told me that he finally texted her and she texted back, I’m done.
Kiko said that D was still going to his prom but that she uninvited him to hers. Last week when he was getting things finalized for the prom, she asked him if he had a backup girl to take to the prom, Kiko said he did but that he still wanted to take her. Two days after that conversation, she cancelled. His backup prom date, “J”…well her mom wouldn’t let her go. He finally asked his friend “O”, whom he’s been friends with since 2nd grade. She was ready to get a dress but her boss called and told her she couldn’t have that night off.
Poor Kiko. He asked three girls. He’s still going prom, but he’s taking a girl who is friends with his friend.
Sounds like a John Hughes movie.
Life and what it means…I don’t know what it means. I just try living my life by being nice to people.
It’s been a while, huh? I was on oral chemo for three weeks. It wasn’t bad. The medicine made me tired. I somehow developed an infection and had to take antibiotics. I was on antibiotics for a week and I’m fine how.
Thanksgiving was a little difficult with not being able to swallow. I was able to eat half-teaspoon side bites. It sucked.
I’m back on Ibrance. I’ve been on it for a week. My oncologist changed the dosage. Two weeks on and one week off.
The kids and I decorated the Christmas tree last night. The DH and teen one got it last Saturday. It was in the stand and we were letting the branches dropped. It’s a huge tree. At first I didn’t like it. I wanted a seven-foot tree that was a little skinny. The DH came home with an eight-foot fat tree. I kind of like the tree now that it has been decorated.
Christmas still stresses me out.
Since starting chemo all I want to do now is sleep. I’m so exhausted.
I started chemo last week. My medical oncologist put on oral chemo called Ibrance. I’ve been reading a lot of good things about it. Some are calling it a miracle drug. I don’t want to get my hopes up. While on this drug I may or may not lose my hair which is good because I finally have it the way I want it. I know it sounds a little vain.
I’m almost done with radiation.The skin on my left rib area where is lesion is located is discolored. There was a little discoloration from the last time I had radiation but now the area is darker.
The pain from the pinched nerve is getting to me. I started taking prescription pain meds last week. I don’t like the side effects, but I don’t like pain more.
I’m starting to feel my esophagus tighten because of the radiation to my T2. I have to make sure I eat or else my esophagus will narrow.