When I first started this blog I thought it would be a way for me to get my thoughts in order, like a journal, while going through my cancer treatment. I also thought that I would blog every day or every other day but that wasn’t the case. My last entry was from December and I’m disheartened that I have not kept up with this blog.

My treatment continues and I am making good progress. My body doesn’t hurt as much thank goodness but there was a time when my whole body was hurting every day.

I will try to blog more often. Maybe I will post some of my favorite recipes. Maybe I’ll post some photos.

There are so many things that I still want to do and I continue to hope and pray that I will be able to do some of them.


Toni (aka Meme)


Walking with a Cane

I bought a cane. Yes, a cane. It’s a folding cane and I try to have it with me all the time. You see about 4 months I started to have severe pain in my left hip and thigh. The pain was so severe I had to take pain meds. Usually my pain threshold is high but not this time. I don’t know if it’s because of the radiation to my left femur or not. Sometimes, I get stiff and experience muscle tightness to the area and walking sometimes helps. I don’t like using the pain because I think it makes me weak. I don’t want to rely on it. I want to be the healthy me before cancer invaded my body. Cancer sucks. 


I started chemo last week. My medical oncologist put on oral chemo called Ibrance. I’ve been reading a lot of good things about it. Some are calling it a miracle drug. I don’t want to get my hopes up. While on this drug I may or may not lose my hair which is good because I finally have it the way I want it. I know it sounds a little vain.

I’m almost done with radiation.The skin on my left rib area where is lesion is located is discolored. There was a little discoloration from the last time I had radiation but now the area is darker.

The pain from the pinched nerve is getting to me. I started taking prescription pain meds last week. I don’t like the side effects, but I don’t like pain more.

I’m starting to feel my esophagus tighten because of the radiation to my T2. I have to make sure I eat or else my esophagus will narrow.

Results of My PET Scan

I have had three PET scans and the results have been good: no activity. A few weeks ago I went for my fourth PET scan and last Friday, Oct. 28, I received the results of the last PET scan: new activity. New activity to my T2, my left 5th and 6th ribs, my left clavicle and the lesion I have on a rib has gotten bigger.

Just when I thought I was doing so well, I’m hit with this news. Cancer sucks.

Yesterday, I met with the radiology oncologist. I will have about 12 sessions to my T2, clavicle and lesion. I was marked up yesterday.

The cancer on my T2 is causing me some nerve pain to the right shoulder and underarm. I haven’t been able to sleep because of the pain. At least now I know what’s causing it. None of my pain medications are helping with the nerve pain.

Tomorrow I start radiation. Hopefully, my oral chemo meds come soon. I have to start that on Monday.

#cancer #breastcancer #metatasticbreastcancer #life #radiation #oralchemo #cancersucks




What this blog is about

When I first started writing this, I thought I would be writing about my cancer life. I have shared my cancer story but I feel I haven’t shared enough. I haven’t really kept up with the blog. I mean, who would be reading it? My family? Siblings? Cousins? Friends? Nope, none of them know about this blog. I don’t know if I want them to know about it. Sometimes I find myself being able to share my story with total strangers. 

So here I am. I don’t know what to do with this blog. Should I talk about health, food or what interest me? Should I talk about all three or how about my children, dogs and bearded dragon? 

I’m at a loss for now. 

#life #blogs #cancer #families&familylife

Living with Cancer: Part 3

Waiting for my surgery date was probably the most boring thing. Sure, I had some visitors, but mostly it was just husband, kids and me. Not talking really, each in our own thoughts. I’m sure my kids, ages 16 and 12, weren’t too thrilled to be stuck in the hospital with me. Not that I can blame them, I didn’t want to be in the hospital either, but because of my back…well, I didn’t really have a choice.

Surgery day, I don’t think I was nervous at all. I know my husband was. I was wheeled to OR about a hour before. Nurses did the prep and I answered a few questions. I met and spoke with the surgeon, whom my husband has issues. I really didn’t care if he had terrible bedside manners (he did). All I wanted to know and cared about was that he was the best.

My surgery was on a Wednesday afternoon. I woke up Thursday afternoon. I heard my husband’s annoying text message notification going off and all I wanted was to have him turn it off.

Things I learned while I was in ICU: my surgery took longer; I was transfused 9 units of blood; my surgeon left during surgery and had a PA close me; my husband saw him leave and get in the elevator; my husband spoke with the chief of surgery and I was on a ventilator for two days.

While in ICU, I was transfused two more units of blood. It seems I had a difficult time clotting.